Getting Personal

I'm hoping that God pulls through for me on this one. My heart's been in a constant turmoil for the past almost-eight months now. It's a huge test of love, strength, patience, and faith for me that I was never expecting to experience.

In times when it really hits me how much leaving for college changes your entire life, and when I really have to rely on everything being a part of God's plan, I like to worship. Francesca Battistelli is my favourite female Christian artist. Her lyrics simply have a way of speaking to me and to my life verse, which is Matthew 24:13.

I think it's really important to remember who we are and where we're at when we are struggling. Especially when we're struggling with something - like feelings - that we think we aught to be able to control. Aside from the trials I cannot control, I've always liked to believe that who I love and how I loved them was up to me. But God showed me that I was wrong when I fell for somebody other than my two-year (now-ex)boyfriend; he showed me that I was wrong when I thought I was ready for a relationship with Oscar and then worked things out with Noel; and he's still proving me wrong by letting me get butterflies for both of them. And I'm praying so hard that something gives because everything does feel broken. Hence this photo.

I'm letting God do my mending and I hope whoever sees this, whether you follow or not, takes away the same message. It's okay to let go as hard as it is to pry your fingers off of everything you know. And in the mean time, worship. In your own way, whether you're a Christian or an atheist, worship.

Motion of Mercy - Francesca Battistelli

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